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I don't even know how to explain how it feels when feelings just overwhelms you in an alarming speed that you have no choice but to let it take over, and well, in my current case, almost completely.
There are times like this where I find myself completely disturbed and annoyed by it for it brings me all the way down south but there are also times, like this, that it makes me think and sort out my thoughts that are all knotted up by the things that I have to deal with on an almost daily basis.
Tonight, it brings me back to the very one word that always rings through and through inside my head; Choices.
I have more or less a good idea about why this is happening to me right now and what this stemmed from and I can only say that I have only myself to well, blame.
I made that choice that very moment even though I was feeling really horrible about it because it doesn't bode exactly well or Okay with myself inside. I gave the 'go-ahead' and went right in with it.
I had really stressed out moments while working through this particular decision of mine.
I complained.
I whined.
I was unhappy.
I broke down several times.
And I forced myself to think through my decision again.
Was it all worth it?
It took me a while, but all I can say is that I have made another decision to terminate this unhappiness that stemmed from my first decision.
It was awkward and especially tough for me - I really didn't want to corner someone out due to the current situation, and at the same time I should really fight against this to rectify my first decision, which can now be seen as a mistake.
So, I did.
Not too long ago, to be exact.
And I'm glad I did.
But it made so much sense to me now.
And also about this particular word that have been stuck in my head for the longest time: Choices.
We all have the rights and power to make the choice for ourselves.
And I want to be happy with the the things that I choose to be my responsibility.
I have absolutely no clue as to what may come my way, but I'll take it from here, just like how Satine would sing it (Come What May) in the middle of the night. Hurhur.
Tillagain.
There are times like this where I find myself completely disturbed and annoyed by it for it brings me all the way down south but there are also times, like this, that it makes me think and sort out my thoughts that are all knotted up by the things that I have to deal with on an almost daily basis.
Tonight, it brings me back to the very one word that always rings through and through inside my head; Choices.
I have more or less a good idea about why this is happening to me right now and what this stemmed from and I can only say that I have only myself to well, blame.
I made that choice that very moment even though I was feeling really horrible about it because it doesn't bode exactly well or Okay with myself inside. I gave the 'go-ahead' and went right in with it.
I had really stressed out moments while working through this particular decision of mine.
I complained.
I whined.
I was unhappy.
I broke down several times.
And I forced myself to think through my decision again.
Was it all worth it?
It took me a while, but all I can say is that I have made another decision to terminate this unhappiness that stemmed from my first decision.
It was awkward and especially tough for me - I really didn't want to corner someone out due to the current situation, and at the same time I should really fight against this to rectify my first decision, which can now be seen as a mistake.
So, I did.
Not too long ago, to be exact.
And I'm glad I did.
But it made so much sense to me now.
And also about this particular word that have been stuck in my head for the longest time: Choices.
We all have the rights and power to make the choice for ourselves.
And I want to be happy with the the things that I choose to be my responsibility.
I have absolutely no clue as to what may come my way, but I'll take it from here, just like how Satine would sing it (Come What May) in the middle of the night. Hurhur.
Tillagain.
