foggy eyes and heavy heart

It's always the case of "I never thought that the day would come so soon".

And now that I'm older, and with totally different priorities as compared to the last time that I had to deal with something like this, it's way tougher than I thought it could possibly be.
 

Someone pointed it out to me that it's actually good to have responsibilities to carry out during times like this, as it distracts you from it for a good while and gets things going - which I really needed with my current situation.
However, it's always the littlest pockets of time that I have for breathers that brings me all the way down that I cannot even imagine.

Surely it is something that we all have expected to come considering the developments that have unfolded before us, slowly but surely as the time passes.
But it doesn't mean that knowing that fact would bring us lesser pain because it still hurts like a bus that rammed over you at full speed.

Over and over again.

Oh yeah.

Thank you to the husband, for being the pillar that is pretty much needed despite all that running of that mouth.
Please continue to hold up the fort for us while I try to pick myself back up.

To you,
Please have all the fun until we meet again.
I promise I'll do my best in everything to make you proud.
Thank you for everything you've done.

I love you, and I'll miss you so so much!!

It's 11:55AM right now and I am contemplating on what I should work on or chores to tackle next to feel more human for a while despite my heart is still very very heavy and my mind is completely bogged.

Maybe after a much needed ugly cry sesh first.

Till again.